My Response

That was the most beautifully worded thing I have ever read. You know what's truly special about you? It's not that you are "different" or "unique", and it's not the way you make any situation more bearable. It's that you have the purest, most raw personality of any person I have ever met. Behind the jokes, and the high fashion grunge-chic style there is an unadulterated beauty that no pretty face can compare to. You are real, and passionate. You have such a big heart, and sometimes it's a burden, but you bear it with so much grace. People see your scars as a reminder of the past, but I see them as a tribute to pure burning love that is your soul.

It's kind of interesting, how I drifted away from everybody. I became so superficial and so shallow. When somebody told me that G*** had transitioned, I couldn't even believe it because the few times I had hung out with him he seemed way to "butch". I remember being at a POD concert with G*** and M**** and K**** and J**** and a few other people and I never would have guessed then that he wouldn't "exist" today. I think I found out about her death like months later and it shocked me, but I never knew her so I couldn't offer anything other than "huh". The way you talk about her, though makes me kind of sad that I didn't know her. It's rare to find people who are raw, which is why I cherish my friendship with you. People always seem to lose sight of what's good in a person when that person breaks social conduct. It's sad that she lost friends, and it's infuriating that B****** would have so much to do with it. People don't notice that the person who they abandoned is still human. They let their spirit dwindle, and it isn't until something drastic happens that they realize how cruel they truly are. And even then their media driven nature poisons their brains and eventually they forget to care, and it's as if the person never existed.

If there is one promise I can make to you, it is that I will never forget you. I want you to know that. Even if you feel like nobody is there, and things are hopeless, I am still thinking about you. I am still praying for you. I am still missing you. I think everyone was to immature to handle what happened to A*****. To them it was just another fashion statement, but to her it was a final frontier, her last grasp of reality. People like her, and you, and I guess me are old souls. We have more to give and people just don't have enough depth to accept it. People like us need other deep people. It's our nature to desire the companionship of people with an equal emotional capacity so we don't feel overwhelmed.

I think traveling would be good for you. The world is such a big place and it's not good to be confined to one tiny speck on the map. This summer J*** might be in Alaska, so maybe you could visit then. And I would love to take a trip with you for like a week somewhere, but I would prefer it to be when J*** is home so he could take care of Z***. I used to dream about traveling with you to amazing fun places. Maybe it could still happen, it might just be more spread out since I have Z***.

You are so cool you know that? You matter so much to me. And I am sure that your life has so much purpose. Everything will be okay. It's hard now, but like you said it will help you appreciate the good times.