This is a real message that was sent to me by a real person. This person is very near and dear to my heart and was going through a rough time on the anniversary of her friend's death. All of the people described are real so I have censored their names out of respect. This message concerns a number of GLBT individuals so please be considerate when leaving comments. I have posted this as a reminder that we often judge and ridicule others without knowing who they truly are. I hope you get something out of this like I did.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

A Word From Me

True Beauty is natural beauty. We all have it, whether we believe it or not. Sometimes I feel like we forget as human beings that nobody is perfect. I think it is those imperfections that mold who we are and what makes us beautiful. I have struggled my whole life with my body image and like so many girls I turned to disordered eating, and crash dieting to make myself into what society sees as "beautiful". Ultimately, I destroyed the person that I was. I lost all of my friends, and developed something called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. No matter how much I looked in the mirror and sucked in my belly, I always appeared so much larger than I was. I remember standing in front of the mirror sucking in, my ribs sticking out, and all I could see was a large gut. I was unhappy not because I wasn't a good size, but because I wasn't THE size. I feel so deeply for girls who go through this. It's not right to have to destroy yourself for the approval of others. After I had my son I put on not only the weight I had lost, but about forty more pounds leaving me at a now staggering 215 pounds. All of that work to end up worse than I was before. But the difference between the girl I was then, and the girl I am now, is that I am no longer seeking approval. I am no longer trying to impress. I am going to lose weight, but for my health and nothing more. If there is anything I can say for girls, or guys who are struggling with their appearance, it's that you should cherish even the smallest beautiful things about yourself. If you waste away your life trying to be perfect, while perfect is constantly changing, you will wake up one day and realize that your youth is gone, and now you are just trying to stay alive and well. Please don't do that to yourself. It's not worth the pain, because no matter how thin you get, it will never be enough. No matter how large your implants, they'll still be too small or too lumpy. No matter the size of your muscles, you will still see yourself as weak. Learn to accept who you are, and find beauty in the small things.

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